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I am running out of options. If it's not one thing it's something else. When am I ever going to catch a solid break? I'm tired and I am fed up. If it's not constantly feeling miserable in my head, if it's not for work being nonexistent and being unable to even live on my own, it's my laptop starting to crap the flipping bed. I really just need one break in my life. Is that honestly so much to ask for?

I'm admitting it. I am a freelance artist. I am trying to start my own business and be self sufficient. I am broke. I suffer from PTSD and due to that I have trouble being around anyone I do not know. I am scared of being in large groups, I am scared of everything that is not my comfort zone due to PTSD, and it's miserable. The one thing I was trying to do, is failing because my laptop is starting to die on me and I am too broke to upgrade to a new one which I badly need to continue running my business.

So I'm sorry for another one of this pathetic journals, but I have no where else to turn for help.
This is the laptop I am looking at getting if I can raise enough money to buy it ASAP
www.amazon.com/HP-TouchSmart-S…

Any help would be appreciated and when I get on my feet, I am as always going to pay it forward to someone else who needs help.
So if anyone could lend a hand I would appreciate it so much. i have $50 in amazon money right now but that is it.


  • Mood: Sadness
Holy cow. I feel so loved by all my new followers on here. You guys are amazing! :blowkiss:

So as many people know, everyone has long term goals, and short term goals. I was sitting down and thinking about my goals I want to fulfill in 2014 and I have so many of them, but I'm going to list them all anyway! Why? Because I know if I try hard I can do it.

Short Term Goals
1. Get into shape and get down to my goal weight of 150 pounds!
2. Change my eating habits for the better (not as much crap in my life!)
3. Save up money to buy my best friend a tablet.
4. Save up to get my friends mom a laptop.
5. Add onto my tattoo for my birthday present in April! (26 years old baby!)

Long Term Goals
1. Pursue modeling as a job
2. Expand my retouching services and digital art services
3. Get Published
4. Get another lens for my camera :star:
5. Make enough money to be able to pay all my own bills.

That being said. I am a digital artist and photoshop wizard! If anyone needs anything retouched or manipulated please get a hold of me. I am looking to get more work and build my client list up! So I'm looking for any work and commissions too!
  • Mood: Love
Death Toll by MEGAN-YrrbbyEntangled by MEGAN-YrrbbyEnchanted by MEGAN-YrrbbyThe Last Song She Played by MEGAN-YrrbbyButterfly Kisses by MEGAN-Yrrbby

I began my deviantART journey over 7 years ago. I stumbled across this site when I was looking for a creative outlet. I started out as an ammeter photographer, and manipulator then grew into a professional manipulator and retoucher growing from my deviantART time. deviantART has helped me cope with severe depression and anxiety and has been my light when most days where nothing but dark. I've worked hard to get as far as I have and I have deviantART to thank as the site and people who I have stumbled across are like my family and support group for everything I deal with. I'm happy to be part of this inspiring community.
  • Mood: Love
Good afternoon loves, :blowkiss:

As many of you know I am a freelance artist and we don't make much money. I don't make enough money right now to support myself, but my business is SLOWLY starting to grow. If any of you have been following my Facebook or Twitter, you may know that my friend has surgery tomorrow to replace her hip! I am trying to raise money so I can buy a box spring, and a bed frame so our bed we have to share due to our current living situation is no longer on the floor as she won't be able to get up and down from the floor very well for months after she has her surgery and it's not healthy for anyone to have a bed on the floor. I will be having a few ebay auctions of some of my art work, but I am also accepting any donations. Thanks to the help of some amazing people here on deviantART I have raised $20. I'm looking to raise at least $200 for a decent box spring and frame set, and possible if I get a little extra a mattress that isn't really old like the one we have now!

All donations can be sent to the paypal of rukia_1134@yahoo.com
Ebay: www.ebay.com/usr/meganleeretou…

There will be rewards for donations over $25.00
  • Mood: Love
Got some photos I would like to sell; or I can do a commission for "themed" photos.
Got bills to pay and work in my industry is slow right now due to it being summer time!
If anyone is interested, just PM me and I will happily answer any questions you may have.
Thanks everyone! <3

Also will be selling a few things on ebay!

www.ebay.com/usr/meganleeretou…

If you have any ideas on other things I could sell, shoot me a message.
<3
  • Mood: Love
If you have been a follower of me for ages, you will have noticed I mostly have done digital work. Well, that's on hold for a bit. Between doing it constantly for work, I don't feel like doing it for fun. I'm more interested in photography, learning how to model and pose, and also take more photographs. So please bare with my while I find myself in my creative art world.

Yes, I know I've been posting a lot of selfies and if you don't like that you can unwatch me. After my 40lb weight loss I feel amazing about myself and my body and I am showing it off. I'm expressing myself while learning poses for modeling as when I hit a lower weight I would love to purse it.

I'm also in the process of making photo bundles to help pay bills. :)
If you are interested let me know; I will be also doing requests.

For more information shoot me a message! Thanks you guys.
:blowkiss:

To the user who gave me an amazon gift card for a commission; thank you so much! You are a sweetheart.
  • Mood: Love
I have been asked about commissions from time to time and never decided to fully committee to it. Well now I am. As many of you may know, I am a professional retoucher now, I don't use deviantART much because I am so busy, but I am looking to raise more money. My friend will be having surgery to replace her entire hip on August 5th and I won't be able to do as much work, so I am trying to raise money to cover bills for the 8 weeks where I can't do as much work!

www.facebook.com/MeganLeeRetou…
www.modelmayhem.com/megannlee

HOW IT IS GOING TO WORK

10 Images retouched for $30 ($3 an image instead of the normal $5 I charge)
20 Images retouched for $55 ($3 an image instead of the normal $5 and 1 free image added)
1 Manipulation for $12 (normal is around $20 when all said and done)

All payments will be made to my paypal email: rukia_1134@yahoo.com

I also have some photographers that are not on deviantART for sale.
If you are interested in purchasing the image please contact me on here via notes.

Donations for bills and household items are also welcome.

Thank you everyone! I hope to do some commissions for real this time. I'm hoping this gets more hits than every time I tried it before!
 
To the user who gave me an amazon gift card for a commission; thank you so much! You are a sweetheart. :blowkiss:
  • Mood: Love
Hey everyone! I donated my points recently, and am need at least 50 to purchase stock that is commercial free usage for work. Does anyone have any extra points they could spare?
  • Mood: Sadness
I decided that I miss deviantART a lot and I cannot leave. I did put most of my deviations into storage and left a few out. I'm going to start to expand my work into photography and just random stuff. I think just posting digital work is getting boring and I want to expand and grow what I post. So I hope you all stick with me and keep helping me out as I still have so many goals deviantART wise and I don't ever want to quit. I want to get them and make them all come true.
  • Mood: Sadness
I have no words in me when it comes to deviantART. It's helped bring me how far I have gotten in my I am grateful for all the places and opportunities art wise it has given me, and I couldn't be where I am without it. For now, though. For personal reasons. I cannot be on deviantART. I want nothing to do with it, at all. I find myself checking it daily and every time I do, I am just reminded of all the bad crap. It'll never be the same. It will never be what it used to be to me and therefore I am walking away. I don't know for how long, or if it's permanent, but for now I am not coming back.

www.facebook.com/MeganLeeRetou…
  • Mood: Sadness

Quitting deviantART for awhile...

Journal Entry: Wed Mar 12, 2014, 6:03 PM


After some thought..I have decided I am walking away from deviantART for a little bit. I don't find the point when due to a few issues there is nothing but drama towards me on here now and I'm not going to be dragged into someones down fall all because of it. I refuse to let it effect my work and my life and I just need to distance myself from this site for the time being. If anyone who follows me would still like to keep in contact and follow the work I do, please follow me on facebook to keep in touch. Thanks for everything you guys. www.facebook.com/MeganLeeRetou…


Lets be a team and help one another and everyone else.


Please Help Me Get 1,000 Facebook Likes
Please like my facebook
This is my business page! All likes help grow and expand my business.
Your support is needed and much appreciated!






F E A T U R E




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  • Mood: Sadness
WINNER
YukiAtem12

Ohmygosh! It's that time again:icondorkydanceplz:
I'm going to be giving away 273 points to one lucky person.
All you have to do is add this journal entry to your favorites.
I will choose the winner next Friday!

RULES
Just add this journal to your favorites.
No watches are required.
No other weird complicated stuff.
Winner will be chosen with random.org

JUST FOR FUN
Not required by any means; but I would appreciate it.
Please like my facebook page that has more art on it!
Please like my facebook






H A P P Y - V A  L E N T I N E ' S - D A Y
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  • Mood: dA Love
Alright, so I have been a bit flaky again, but I am back! :) I am looking for donations for my points pool.  Anyone who donates gets a watch, llama and a permanent mention in my journal. Anyone who donates 100+ points get all that and a few more spots on my profile. I'm asking for donations for contests, so if anyone wants to help, I would appreciate it!

Alright I am in need of money, so I am doing comissions. How it will work is you can send me an image to retouch or manipulate and pay via paypal. You can use it whereever you want and you do not need to give credit if I do work on your image. There isn't any "slots" anyone and everyone can participate. So I am hoping this works, as I said I need money and figured this would be a creative thing to try seeing as many other people have done it and done it successfully. I don't see why I can't.

PS: If anyone can, I am looking to get a premium account. If anyone donates one, I will give you a feature and shout out! <3

2 0 1 4 - G O A L S

:bulletpink: Post daily
:bulletblue: Gain more friends and clients
:bulletpink: Make an image that I think is DD worthy
:bulletblue: Inspire and help other artists








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I'm writing a book! (News Feature!) + CONTEST

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 6, 2013, 5:39 AM


I am looking for horror and macabre / Halloween themed images for a massive news feature I will be making in dedication to Halloween and as my official return to deviantART! So if you have anything that fits for the news feature please note me! OR if you know someone's images, please note me! I am eager to make this a large news feature of new, varied, old, unnoticed, noticed artists alike! So lets do this! :)

So after many tragic events this summer and through-out my life I have finally started to write a book. It is something I have wanted to do since I was old enough to know what an Author and a Novel was. I'm excited to say, that I will be sharing my preface on dA, because through it all I have noticed I got tons of support from people who I have never met and to me that just makes my days 10x brighter. So thank you. Thank you also for everyone who wished me and my second family condolences on the passing of my second father. It means so much to me. That out pouring of love is almost enough to make me cry with happiness. I want to thank everyone for being here to support me through my dreams and my wishes. Thank you dA for turning me into the bright, young, bubbly, outgoing artist I am today! :love:



C O N T E S T - T I M E !

:wave: Alright, so I have come up with a contest for October, 2013! 
I am trying to promote my page Megan Lee it's my facebook portfolio & work page!
I am in need of promoters! So that calls for anyone and everyone
.
Here is how it works: I need as many people spreading the word about my page, have your friends like it and if they do have them private message me on that Facebook letting me know your deviantART account!
The person with the most friends/family/people to help me promote my business gets a postcard print of their choice that I'm going to personally sign for you! The second and third place winners will each get 50 points from me (if I have extra I'll reward a 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, & 10th place prize of points as well!)

Contest Winners will be announced November 8th!




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  • Mood: dA Love

My dad passed away.......

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 4, 2013, 6:21 AM


So after I posted this, the doctors had come out and spoke with the family.
We all decided it was in his best interest, to pull him off life support and let him go peacefully.

Robert, my second father, passed away a few days ago.
 I haven't been on much because of his funeral and other things that have been going on stemming from his death.
Thank you everyone who has sent prayers and was wishing for him to get better.
I appreciate it as does the entire family. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

There is some expenses for his funeral that his burial policy couldn't cover.
If anyone could make donations to help us pay it off, it would be appreciated.
All donations can be made here: www.gofundme.com/41r88k

I'm willing to do a custom art piece for anyone who donates.
Just note me & I will ask what you want and go from there.
If you don't want to donate to the link above, donations can also be made out to rukia_1134@yahoo.com (paypal)

I'm also asking to get this passed around, so more people see it. Thank you so much.








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  • Mood: Tearful

Best friends dad needs heart transplant - URGENT

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 27, 2013, 6:41 AM


Well this is probably one of the things I least like about life. A few weeks ago I posted about my best friends father who fell ill. It's now completely official. He's very sick. He's been in the hospital for a few weeks now almost, and has got the green light for a new heart. He's in good spirits, and all but in the end it's still a major procedure and he's not so young anymore so there are the complications that go with a heart transplant. It's worrisome on both of us. My best friend has been shut up in our house all of us share (her father, her and I) I am away on vacation, and I got the news when I was on vacation. I'm just making this because I was hoping I could get some positive energy and prayers sent his way. I've explain this in facebook on my art page. So if anyone has a facebook and could take just a minute out of their lives and share the status, I would appreciate it and so would my friend and her father. I'm just hoping to flood him with all this awesome positive energy and willing him to be even more upbeat and everything about this entire thing that is going on. So if anyone can share the status, give me feedback, give me prayers or positive words I can rely back to him or even print out. I would so very much love to show him how many kind people are out there routing for a safe surgery and a speedy uncomplicated recovery. - Megan

I've also started a donation fund to help cover winterizing the house and propane costs for the winter so he doesn't have to stress about it again this winter and anything anyone donates is much appreciated by his daughter, him and I.

Status Link - www.facebook.com/permalink.php…
Donations can be made out to my paypal - rukia_1134@yahoo.com



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  • Mood: Sadness

Best Friends Dad Is In The Hospital -- Very Sick

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 9, 2013, 9:54 AM


I so regret doing this. I know this is an ART SITE made for ART but I have no where else to vent where I know people will end up seeing it. As many of you might have grasped from my past journal entries I am on vacation. I am visiting my family in NH. I live over 700 miles away in MI. I live with my best friend and her father, who this journal will be about. So if you could, please just finish reading this entry I would very much appreciate it.

About 2 weeks ago now, my friends dad was rushed to the ER unable to breath. They determined he had, had another heart attack and air lifted him to the big hospital in Ann Arbor, they ran more tests but later determined it was not a heart attack, but a severe stress attack brought on by heat and over working himself. After three days in the hospital they released him with a strict diet and fluid consumption guide because of his heart condition (he has congestive heart failure) well, on the 5th he went back for a check up and they immediately readmitted him because he was having trouble breathing and his blood pressure was dangerously low. He is still in the hospital, about 2 hours away from where I live with my best friend. They did tests, and discovered he has an aneurysm in his heart. Long story short, they have put him on a heart donor list and he will be needing a new heart as soon as possible.

My friend and her family, and me, do not have a lot of money. We don't have money to be running back and forth, the fuel expenses and other expenses gas wise are eating up the entire monthly budget for bills. My friend is stressed and she isn't in the best health either. It's pretty crappy when you have to beg for someone to help you out, just to be able to see your own father or make sure you can get enough change for gas to get food for a week or even the month. I'm posting this because I am trying to save money up for my friend and her family to help cover gas expenses, and help with other bills while her father is laid up.

If anyone can, and will help out, even if it's a dollar, it still helps out, then please donate to my paypal: rukia_1134@yahoo.com
Once I get some money, I am having it transferred to her bank account for bills, gas, and any other bills that will need to be taken care of.


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  • Mood: Sadness

Ways to make money in the art world?!

Journal Entry: Wed Jun 19, 2013, 3:43 PM


So. I have tried pretty much everything. No one on this site wants commissions. Sooo. I give up with that route. Oh well, right? -Headdesk- But I guess I can't give up because I need to make some money, so I am still taking commissions. GET THEM Y'ALL! Haha.

On a slight off note, I am still on vacation! It's not going as I planned. I won't announce it on here, because that is not polite; but I will tell anyone who notes me because I know a lot of people like to follow life updates. For some weird reason...oh well. Bahaha.

I think the best thing that has happened so far on vacation is that I have got pretty much a half back tattoo now. I'm stoked. It's not finished yet, but once it is I will upload photographs of it. Eeeep!! Alright loves, I can't really find much more to say so I am just going to end this little annoying rant/fill in about life now. :)

Please check out my other sites! I am looking to try to get 500 followers on facebook, so please follow my facebook page!


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  • Mood: Neutral
  • Playing: Cher Lloyd - Want U Back

Backish! I can never stay away.

Journal Entry: Fri May 24, 2013, 9:10 PM


Holy Crapsticks I had another suggested deviant get a DD! I think that makes 3-4 accepted suggestions. I'm so glad. I love helping people out and I adore suggesting DD's. It makes my day knowing if one of my suggestions get accepted, that persons is so happy and honored.  So I am on vacation, that is the only reason I have not been posting, but, I found an image I did years ago (well two) and decided to re-edit it, and post it. So I am backish. I won't be posting DAILY, but I will check this daily. I might post weekly though, got some trips planned and will be posting a few photographs from the trips.

But on a more serious note, I am collecting donations. I'm trying to fly my friend out as she needs a break from her life right now and has no money. She is in the process of getting SSI for her bad hip, her father is sick and is supporting them both on his SSDI, she has got some bad news in the last few weeks about her grandfather whom is very ill and will probably be passing on in the next few months and is just having a very rough time and needs an escape. I've got about half of her ticket money earned, from work I have done. I still need to earn more, so if anyone wants to be helpful and wouldn't mind helping another human being out whom is in need, it would be very much appreciated. She has no idea I am asking for help, or even doing this. I'm going to surprise her. She has been there and done so much for me even though she or her family can't afford it and I just want to give her something nice. So yeah. If you want to help, thank you. If not, I understand. All donations can be sent to my paypal; rukia_1134@yahoo.com


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  • Mood: dA Love

So...shit hit the fan back home.

Journal Entry: Thu May 23, 2013, 9:06 AM


Argh. I get back home, saved all that money to get home, was relaxing and we had to take in my cousin. Or she'd be homeless at 18. So she is now living with my dad and mom and getting settled and what not. Doing what she needs to get on her feet, and fix her life. Anyway, on a different note, we had to rush my dog to the emergency vet, that was fun; not. She has some spine issues and that took a chunk of money none of us really had. Lol. So yeah. More shit just keeps falling into everyones lap and it pretty much sucks. I'm still not going to be on deviantART much. I'm visiting my family and all that jazz. I'm trying to get my friend back out here too, because shit with her is too stressful I am honestly just worried about her right now. Her dad is sick, he has congestive heart failure, her grandfather is pretty much dying and her grandmother almost bled to death the other day. My job is slow, she keeps being turned down for job after job, and she's just beyond depressed and miserable and I am honestly scared if she doesn't get a break from all the stress, she might just mentally break down. So I am trying to collect money to get a plane ticket and fly her out here. So if anyone has a big enough heart, and can spare some money so I can just get her the hell out of dodge for a month or two, that would be amazing and I would be thankful. If you want to donate, and help someone in need out, donations can be sent to my paypal which is rukia_1134@yahoo.com

  • Mood: dA Love